Mastery: The Stoic Way To Managing Anger

Issue No. 53 | January 1st, 2024 | Read Time: 2 Minutes

I wouldn't call myself an angry person.

But I would admit to getting frustrated easily.

It's not that I have a short temper, but whenever I mess up or someone cuts me off in traffic it can get difficult to contain myself.

But if you've read

Meditations

by Marcus Aurelius, you might have noticed that Marcus writes down multiple ways to help curb anger. It's such a recurrent theme in his notebooks that we can safely conclude that Marcus probably had a short temper himself.

Later in his notebooks, he talks about the

Ten Gifts From Apollo

, or ten strategies he uses to guard himself

"against being angry with others."

They get pretty long so I'll do my best to give you the quick summarized version:

1. Remember that we're all human beings and came into the world the same way.

2. Visualize what they're like in their daily lives (eating, spending time with family, etc.)

3. Think about their point of view. And if they're right, you have no right to complain. And if they aren't, then they are only doing it out of ignorance.

4. Remember that you've made mistakes yourself.

5. Realize that you don't know for sure they're making a mistake.

6. Remember that at some point both you and the offender will be gone from this world.

7. That it's not what they do that bothers us: that it's our own perception of it which you can discard right now.

8. How much more damage anger does than the things that cause them.

9. To respond with kindness and speak with no hatred.

10. To not expect bad people to be kind. You'll only end up hurting yourself.

Personally, I've found the seventh and eighth gifts to be the most helpful in times of frustration. Whenever I find myself getting angry, I just remember I'm only hurting myself.

So if you're like me, keep these ten rules handy. And even if you don't describe yourself as an angry person, you are still

capable

of anger.

Besides, getting angry is a childish way of reacting to life's obstacles. If you really want to exude confidence, follow this last bit of advice. . .

"A real man doesn't give way to anger and discontent, and such a person has strength, courage, and endurance - unlike the angry and complaining. The nearer a man comes to a calm mind, the closer he is to strength."

- Marcus Aurelius

Because as they say, the best revenge is to not be like your enemy.

Until next time,

Isaiah Taylor

Dive Deeper

What I'm Currently Reading -

I've just started reading

Think Like A Monk

by Jay Shetty, a book on how to train your mind for peace and purpose every day.

If you'd like to see my book notes pertaining to this book or any others I have previously read, then check out my website

isaiahctaylor.com

to view my entire library of notes and summaries.

Quote Of The Week

• “Another person will not hurt you without your cooperation; you are hurt the moment you believe yourself to be.”— Epictetus