Mastery: Overcoming Anger—The Stoic Way

Issue No. 63 | March 11th, 2024 | Read Time: 2 Minutes

One of my favorite books of all time is How To Think Like A Roman Emperor by Donald Robertson.

In it, Robertson compares ancient Stoic philosophy with modern cognitive behavioral therapy as a way to prove its continued relevance.

He gives lots of strategies for overcoming daily occurrences like stress, anxiety, fear, and even anger.

As much as I enjoyed the sections on anxiety and stress, I couldn't help but reread the Stoic principles to overcoming anger.

Because when it came to anger, the Stoics viewed it as a sign of weakness rather than strength. It signified that a person was too mentally fragile to handle their emotions and symbolized an act of petty revenge.

On the other hand, controlling one's anger is a way to cultivate empathy and understanding towards others.

Who would you respect more, the man screaming at the cashier in front of you because they're too slow in bagging their groceries? Or the man who empathizes with them and helps bag them even though he's in a rush?

Anger only amplifies the situation in front of you. 

But back to Robertson's book.

In the chapter titled Temporary Madness, Robertson gives five different strategies to overcoming anger. For some, all of them might work. But for others, maybe only one or two will prove to be valuable.

The first strategy for overcoming anger is to have a higher sense of self-monitoring. This is when you are always on the lookout for early signs of anger. This could be anything from noticing your voice changing or your facial muscles tensing. And when you do, nip it in the bud before it escalates.

The second strategy involves cognitive distancing. Here, you want to remind yourself that events themselves don't make you angry, but rather your perception about them. And if it is your judgment, change perspectives. 

Third, you want to practice something called postponement. This is when you wait until your feelings of anger have naturally ceased before you decide how to respond to the situation. In other words, wait until you've calmed down some, then take action.

The fourth strategy is what's known as modeling. Whenever anger starts to arise, ask yourself what would your role model do. For example, I'll ask myself

"What would Marcus Aurelius do?" or "What would my 10.0 self do?"

And finally, if none of those work for you, try something called functional analysis. This is where you picture the consequences of succumbing to your anger while also picturing the outcome of resisting it. Which outcome do you think you'd like more?

I wouldn't classify myself as an angry person. But I do believe anger is a humanly response to unfortunate and frustrating events.

And just like with anxiety, a Stoic person isn't someone who doesn't experience anger at all, rather, it's someone who responds to anger with virtue.

And whether that response is a variation of all five strategies or just one, remember that empathy is the mark of a virtuous person.

Until next time,
Isaiah Taylor

Dive Deeper

What I'm Currently Reading - I'm now reading The Mamba Mentality by Kobe Bryant. A book on Kobe Bryant's routine and strategies for becoming one of the greatest basketball players of all time. 

Quote Of The Week
- "Do not seek pleasure for its own sake." — Miyamoto Musashi